The Don Group had decided to do a little fund raiser for his birthday. Under List Mum Contessa's direction, we raised over $200.00 for the Gillioz Theatre in Springfield, Missouri of which Don is a honorary Board member. So I've got the proclamation.

Now the fun begins.

How are we supposed to get it to him? We decide that we'll try and hit him with the "Fan Group would like a photo op with you as there are a lot of us here (sixteen by this point ~ the number is rather fluid and keeps changing every time you turn around) and Creation said that was too many for a photo op" plaintive whine.

Then somehow "Photo Op" with Don has turned into "Breakfast with The Don". Be there 9AM sharp or lose your seat! Don't ask me how we arranged it, as I don't really know.

The group gets together on Saturday. We're down a couple members but we've got other problems ~ some of the group has to leave before 10AM for the Alexis Cruz course.

Janet and I converse during the entire meal.

"[Do the presentation] Now?" ~ me.

"[He's] eating." ~ Janet.

"[He's] stopped!" ~ me.

"[Well, so and so just] meandered off." ~ Janet.

You know, being on an email list is all fun and games until you're promoted to co-mod. You have to behave then [putting your inner Selmak into chains and putting a sock into her mouth] and organize the troops for stuff like this. I felt like a mother duck with thirty seven delinquent ducklings all with ADHD all who wanted to cross the NJ Turnpike at rush hour.

Finally, the group is all together, I get Contessa on the phone and then naturally someone wanders off to pay her bill. It's 9:50 AM, and the Alexis Cruz group will be disappearing shortly. There's a line of seven people to pay so I finally stand up, and tell her to return back to the cult.

I make Gilder hold the phone and I explain to Don.

"I should apologize... because well, we lied to you. We really didn't want a photo op with you..."

"It's because I'm UGLY!" He interrupts.

Glancing quickly at the group, I see several chins quivering and assorted females that are willing to race over and hug and kiss Don into feeling much better about himself.

Dangerous, dangerous Don.

Oh, we got trouble
Right here in Secaucus
Right here in Secaucus
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'D' and that stands for 'Don Davis'
That stands for 'Don Davis'
We surely got trouble
We surely got trouble
Right here in Secaucus
Right here.

"Well, no," I answer. "We wanted to give you this for your birthday. And well since you're the gentleman with the theatre background, you can read the presentation!"

With that, I sit back down, as my job here is done. Now I too, can have fun. Don then tells us a bit about the theatre and then starts talking about himself.

Assorted little Don Tidbits.

I think he's really amused that he's got a fanclub. When he was younger, he powerlifted and built his strength up, so whenever a friend of his got bullied, he'd end it. So he got a reputation for being the Mean Davis Boy which has followed him throughout his life, proving time and time again, you can't outrun your past, so for him to have a fan club is highly ironic.

Then he chatted about some experiences he had painting nudes, especially a woman with the gap-toothed smile, a rather strange apartment that he once lived in, that was inside a condemned building, Dan Brown's book Angel and Demons which I've added on the "List of Things to Read After Robert Jordan's Knife Of Dreams book is finally released." [Take it from me, don't ever believe an author when he says something will be triology unless you have all three books in your hands. Robert's triology is now up to 11 books and counting.] and a lot of other various subjects.

Looking at my watch, it was 10:45 am, so the groups taken up most of his morning. I decide to leave then, and I say my goodbyes. But first, I must ask the question I've been dreading.

Selmak.

The Symbiote that Squeeeed as I call her.

"I run Selmak. Are you ok with it?" I question, because he sprinkled a few comments about Selmak into the conversation and in fact, had commented about Selmak to Contessa when he chatted with her.

He's the last of Sel's Boy Toys that I've 'met' in more than an autograph line.

While I have no desire to be official, as I'd have to clean up the site, ditch sel and be on the boring, straight and narrow, I also don't want to piss off the boys, especially after I was told that some people had ratted the site out to all of Sel's Boys (You know you are.. :)). For that reason, nobody will ever see the Really Good Stuff on the Boys ™that I've found as I really don't want to get hit with a C&D Order. All I can say is, you boys did some very interesting things early on in your careers.

Tony had demanded that I introduce myself after he saw the site <grin> so I did, Carmen's completely computer illiterate (*And I hope he stays that way*) and thought that me having a website for him was... sweet (And did I feel guilty after he said that? Hell no!) Though I was concerned when the site got boarded by someone from LA/Burbank looking for the "crazy Carmen Argenziano Internet Fan Club who run around with Stuffed Snakes" so I guess one of his kids fired up the net for their dad. (Update 9/05 ~ in reality it was worst than just his kids firing up the net! His WIFE looked it up online - plainly wondering about the nuts.)

Fortunately Don laughs, and tells me that he hasn't done any nude scenes.

Good Helena, "Ok. Carmen's done several that came pretty close. But I wouldn't post them online."

Evil Helena aka Selmak, "If you had actually done a nude scene, give me enough time, money and a high speed internet connection, and I betcha I could find it easily."

So he wanted to know how I find all these odd movies that he's done.

For a moment, I was going to give him the truth, "Netflix, Ebay, Amazon.Com, 1 girl in Vancouver, 4 Girls in the UK, 1 Girl in Australia and two top secret connections that I have on retainer but I can't admit that I know them as I'll lose 'em if I break the confidentiality agreement. Then there's three different people that review the site and tell me if I can get away with my latest postings... . Plus I probably spent several thousand hours online over the last two years searching for stuff on you three, as did you realize there is absolutely NO info on any of you three?"

Instead, I just laugh and tell him, "Evil, Don. Evil."

No need to freak the poor guy out even more than he has been. I mean, he got leid in public and had to hold a stuffed symbiote (wearing a hot pink lei) for a photo op. Some of the group had been joking that he had probably called his wife to tell her about his very own weirdos, "Honey! I've got groupies... and they're all nuts! If anything happens to me, tell the cops to look for the people wearing the Hawaiian shirts."

"No, seriously," he asked.

"I can't tell you, because it's illegal as hell, and I should be in jail for ten years at least," I answered.

Actually, each photo cap is a separate copyright violation probably, so that means, ~ 150 pages at least ten photos per page...5 years apiece.... oh - maybe 5,000 years if they give me time off for good behavior. <snark!>

Then the most important question was asked, "Are you ok with it being snarky? Sel is rather... snarky... at times..."

[Actually she's downright crude at times, especially in a couple of her early reviews where she was commenting on what would be happening if she was still in Saroosh's body rather than Jake's.]

To my delight, he's ok with it being snarky. That means I can continue commenting on Don skipping across rooftops, getting whumped and wearing strange things such a cow-spotted apron! Life is GOOD!