|Jacob Carter ~ Bio|
Hello. My name’s Jacob Carter. I often go by Jake or Dad depending on who’s talking to me.
Selmak! You promised I could have this little section all to myself!
Second thought, just call him General Grouch! Ever since I cut him off from caffeine, he’s been a grouch!
Are you done?
As you may or may not know, I’m two star General in the United States Airforce, I am Samantha Carter’s father, a good friend to George Hammond, I’m a Tok’ra and thus host to you know who.
No, I was talking about Junior!
Why you @#*@*! I always knew you liked him BEST!
Don’t get your flippers in an uproar! Of course it’s you, Sel! Who else would I be talking about? I am, in effect, promoting your website!
Right, of course, I’ll be quiet now. But for the record, my flippers weren’t in an uproar! If they were, you would have immediately felt them smacking your brainstem, causing you instant and hopefully unpleasant pain!
That’s not very nice, Sel. I don’t threaten you. I don’t cut off your air supply for making flippant remarks about my friends. I don't give my host an upset stomach by wiggling my tail on purpose.
Alright! Enough! I’ll behave! But quit making remarks about my flippers or tail!
In case you the reader didn’t know, Sel’s very sensitive when I make reference to her flippers or her tail. I guess because Sel’s female and her flippers are the equivalent of a woman’s bre…
And her tail is the equivalent to a woman’s as…
I guess that nip/tuck you got didn’t make you feel any better, did it?
Whew! She’s gone! Don’t worry about me. I can handle her. I’ve been married before! Being a host is basically the same thing. Just minus a few…pleasures. And the only draw back is I can’t leave the room during an argument. If I leave, the room goes with me!
I heard that!
I have to laugh. Sel is a pain in the neck but if not for her, I would have died from cancer seven years ago. I never would have reconciled with my son, Mark, or my daughter, Sam. I never would have seen what kind of woman my little girl grew up to be. I never would have gotten to know my grandchildren. And I never would have seen all the things I’ve seen during these past seven years with Sel as my companion.
Sel, are you crying?
No…sniff! Tok'Ra Symbiotes never cry! But that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me. SNIFF. SNIFF.
Here’s a Kleenex. Don’t cry too much. I have enough water on my brain. Ah - - Sel - - can’t - -breathe!
Oops, sorry Pookie!
Don’t worry. Next time you decide to give me a hug, just give me a little squeeze…that’s better. So as I was saying earlier, I am not so much into talking about myself, what you see is what you get. But I am promoting this website for Sel as it is the ONLY website that is dedicated entirely to my symbiote and ME.
Please, feel free to browse through pages and pages of pictures of me. Not too many of Sel because she is inside my body. But if you see me in the picture, you’re seeing Sel too.
Please, review my stellar career as an Air Force General and Tok’ra liaison.
Sel, not now I’m on a roll! Don’t forget about Selmak’s wicked sense of humor that is plastered all of every page. Usually her humor is at my expense but it is a small price to pay when I’m fifty percent of a website.
You’re only twenty-five percent of the website Jacob.
What? How did that happen? Did you delete my pictures?
No, Jacob, the website is also dedicated to Master Bra’tac and George.
I knew it! You like George more than me! If you like him so much why don’t you go live with him! Ever since she found pictures of his legs it’s been George this and George that! I’m tired of it! It’s bad enough that we died. Now I have to spend ascension with Selmak and her pictures of George’s legs! Well that’s it! I’m leaving! Good-bye! You can have your Bra'tac cap flurishes!
Don’t mind Jacob. He always comes back to me. He’s still upset that we didn’t get killed off properly. Ascension is nice and all, but the writers of Stargate could have let us retire with dignity instead of me getting sick, and thus causing Jacob’s death! How lame is that?
To finish for Jacob…he is a good man despite his stubbornness and crass. He’s honorable and loyal. He does have a wicked sense of humor that rivals mine enabling us to often crack each other up so much that we’ve had to leave a meeting with the High Council to laugh in our quarters. Probably why they came to distrust us. Oh well, their loss. He’s still a klutz. I just let him believe it’s my fault to avoid an argument.
All in all, you got to love the guy. He really is a teddy bear…about one percent of the time. And he really does have pages and pages…and pages and pages of pictures. Wore my flippers out posting them all. But for my host, it was worth the prescriptions and hours of physical therapy.
You really mean that Sel?
Of course I do Jacob. Give me a hug! Oh…right you can’t…well I’ll hug you then!
Sel - - - I - - - can’t - - - breathe - - - again!
Don’t worry, if you pass out I’ll revive you cause I love ya!
Love - - - you - - - too!
BIO thanks to Marya, Buttercup, Makui & Niko.